The Most Important Thing

As I was praying last night, the memory passed through my mind of when I was very young in Christ. I was convinced that I was supposed to be a prophet. Mind you, I was only about 2 years old in the Lord, and very naive indeed. But I was convinced, and I was also convinced that others were being told that I'm supposed to be a prophet. So I would ask others, "What is my calling?" Some said they didn't know, and others said that I was called to be a prophet. It was exactly what I wanted to hear.

But it wasn't what I needed to hear.

In all honesty, I don't know that I can say one way or the other who God has called me to be. What I have learned is the most important thing: being you. What I needed to hear as a youth in Christ, one who was still carrying around  much baggage and speaking from the flesh, is that God has made me to be a very specific individual. Whether we're talking about apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, or teachers, their calling does not supersede who they already are. God has made you for who you are, and there shouldn't be anything else to tell you what that is.

When I was in school, I was bullied.

A lot.

It actually was something that was painful enough that I can't remember most of my childhood. I assume that my mind has actually blocked it out to keep from the pain. One of the very few things I do remember is at one point contemplating suicide. I felt absolutely worthless, and no one would care if I gave up my life. Then the people started going through my mind of who would care, my sister, my best friend... I couldn't do it.

What exactly is the most important thing? What is it that I know now that I didn't know then?

God has made me to be me.

There are certain aspects of who I am that I have put upon myself, whether good or bad. There are certain ways that I act and react, both being defense mechanisms. There are certain habits that I have created for myself. My likes, my dislikes, my personality, my habits, my opinions, and all other parts of who I am stem from something. It either stems from the core of my being, the essence of who I am, or it stems from my reaction to outside forces. The most important thing is to pull back the layers, however painful that may be, and look into the very heart. For anyone, whether Christian or otherwise, the most fulfilling thing that we can do is to live from the very center of who we are.

However, there is a catch 22 here. We cannot truly live from who we are, and who we were created to be, unless we are surrendered to Christ who made us. To live from that core, that center, we must be yielded to something stronger than that core or center. We are too weak to live out of our center alone. The result is what got us wherever we're at currently. The result of living as I knew how got me into alcohol, promiscuity, and rock n' roll culture.

Our callings do not replace the very essence of who we are. I would actually contend that the very core of our being is what defines our calling. Whether we're called to be a pastor, teacher, apostle, or some guy that sits on the park bench and comforts the man who called him at midnight asking for help, the most important thing is that we discover who we are and live from that. We are each a different member in a very large Body, and the beauty of holiness is found when we can be ourself in the midst of it. When we can function as we are intended to function, and we don't get picked on or run over by others who have 'better' callings, we are acting like the Body.

When I was young in Christ, I wanted to be a prophet because I saw the glits and glam of the so-called prophets. I saw the authority of the prophets in Scripture, and the relationship they had with God. But I did not see the suffering and the torment they endured. I didn't see anywhere close to the full picture. What I thought a prophet was at that time was only the 'good' things, and none of the 'bad'. That's why I wanted it. For my whole life I had been picked on and beaten down, and if I were a prophet, then I would be looked up to. I didn't realize that the prophets were also beaten and kicked.

God is unchanging. But why is He unchanging? It is one thing to make the assertion and say that He is God, therefore He doesn't change. It is quite different to see why. He doesn't change because He is free. Freedom is not defined by whether we are allowed to do something, or whether the option is available. I think in our Christianity we define freedom the same way we define freewill: to option to choose right or wrong, obedience or disobedience. Freedom is living from who you are. When there is nothing that hinders or restrains you, you are free. God is unchanging because He is free. He is who He is, and He lives from that essence of His being. He will never act outside of who He is, because that would be forfeiting His freedom. He is pure and incorruptible for the same reason that He is unchanging. These are all interwoven in a way to show you what freedom is all about. For us to find who we are in our essence, that we are made in God's image and have been designed by Him to live according to who He has created us to be, is the first step to ultimate freedom. Living out of the core of your being, that very core that governs everything about you, is freedom. To put something upon yourself that is not you, but only a reaction to the outside world, is bondage.

I would like to sum up with a challenge. How much of your life is lived from who you are? How much is lived from who you think you are supposed to be? How much is lived from the habits and reactions that you have placed upon yourself as a response to the outside world, but are not who you are? These things don't define you. There is a core that defines you and speaks as to why you act and react in these ways. It governs the decisions that you make. To live from that core of who you are, through the power of the Holy Spirit and the grace offered by the blood of Christ, is to find true freedom. Nothing else matters. If you run your life into the ground because you have been living from your center, it is well worth it. It is better to find yourself and live in poverty and isolation than to continue to live out a lie with many friends and many riches. I hope that this is something to bring the same freedom to the reader that I have found simply by pursuing this. I haven't arrived, but I praise God for the growth that has taken place simply for taking up the challenge.

Prudent Speech

Do you see a man hasty in his words?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 29:20


There are a select few that are sagacious with their words. Many of us pour out of our mouths streams of words. Many people have the gift of gab - the ability to speak on any subject. Once you start a conversation with them, they can carry it for days. Some don't have this gift, but still practice lingual negligence. We speak when we need to shut up. We don't speak when we need to scream. We put forth a plethora of words, many times without even thinking before about what is coming out of our mouths. How many of us are guilty of this?

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Christ Jesus was one that never minced words. In fact, by His own lips He said that His words are life because they are Spirit. He actually claimed that He says nothing out of His own mind, but everything comes from the Spirit of God. Then, at another time, Jesus said that we would be judged by every idle word that comes out of our mouths. Have you ever doted upon that? Mete on it for a moment. Every idle word... What about the words that are not idle? What about the words that are premeditated? I think the point is being made: every word, whether we think about what we're saying or not.

If Jesus was one that would not speak a single word without its inception being from the Spirit of God, what then shall we say of ourselves? Paul said that he desired to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified. What shall we say of ourselves, who are not the Son of God nor apostles? We don't have such a caliber of character as they, and yet we find even they are making statements about a choosing of their words and understanding. If Paul desired to know nothing except Christ and Him crucified, what then must his words have been enriched in?

The art of prudence is lost to our generation. We often don't think about the future, let alone act according to that thought. Of the famous music on the radio currently, we hear song after song about not thinking about what happens next. Let's worry about that when it comes, for now we want to party all night and sex it up until our bodies explode from erotic bacchanal. If our actions are so unpremeditated and without intuition, how many of our words are the same?

Jesus had said that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. That, of course, supposes that our hearts are overflowing. But what is it overflowing with? We simply need to check out our words to know the answer to that. Think back on the past conversations that you've had. Think back upon the arguments or the reactions that you've had. What comes out from your mouth - whether in the good or the bad moments? How much was simply verbiage to fill the air, or make your point, or show how the person that you're speaking with is wrong? How much was the weighty overflow of the Spirit of God that brings a glory out of your lips?

Out of the overflow of your heart, your mouth speaks. I'm becoming acutely aware of the need to speak less, yet in those fewer words speak much more. There are a few that I know that when they speak, it is some of the most precious words that you've ever heart. And when they listen to you speaking, they actually listen. There isn't the hope of listening so they can respond. There isn't the hope of listening so that they can then tell you their opinion. They actually listen. Why?

They listen to you because they themselves are more accustomed to not speaking unless they have something to say. When you have others around you that are in like manner, then when someone speaks up, why wouldn't you listen? This is the very heart and soul of the person. To listen to the words of what a man or woman speaks is to listen to the very heart of that person. When their heart is given over to vanity, their words will reflect it. But there is a glory that comes when we "desire to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified."

I'm striving for the latter. Many times I find myself listening to sermons, watching movies, talking to people, and I just want them to get to the point. They spend an hour talking, and yet there is barely anything said. The void isn't filled simply because we've spoken. I know some that can speak for five minutes and say more than those that get up on Sunday morning and speak for an hour. The biggest need in our day is not to teach people more information about the Bible and the Gospel. The people aren't 'over-gospeled.' They are actually under-gospeled. Our words aren't weighty enough because we haven't spent enough time listening to the Spirit and not speaking until that word is birthed in our heart out of the waiting.

Do we need blood to be atoned for?

I've been listening to some Dr. Michael Brown lectures on "answering Jewish objections." The first couple were fabulous, but then we hit this point where it seems like the main point for every message is to talk about how repentance is not enough and we need blood sacrifices or there is no remission of sin. Of course, Dr. Brown is saying that we rely on the blood of Jesus, but it has gotten me thinking. Do we need the blood? If so, why do we need the blood?

A simple reading of the Torah (first 5 books of the Bible) that sacrifices and offerings are necessary to "draw near to God." The first chapter of Leviticus is about the burnt offering. Out of everything that could be spoken of, this is the first one. Why? Because it is the blood that takes away sin, for "the life is in the blood." In order for the priests to be consecrated (Leviticus 8), there needed to be blood sacrifices. In order to consecrate the things of the tabernacle, and even the tabernacle itself, there needed to be sacrifices (Exodus 40:29).

Obviously blood atonement is a huge factor of the Old Testament. The High Priest needed to offer a sacrifice for himself and for the congregation of Israel on the Day of Atonement. What Dr. Brown was attempting to do was show that in exile, there is no way to have remission of sins. Prayer isn't good enough: you're under judgment. It is upon the restoration of Israel from exile that they start to rebuild the Temple and offer sacrifices again. Why? If prayer was enough, then why did the generation of Nehemiah and Ezra need to start offering sacrifices again?

But what got me thinking wasn't so much the necessity of blood atonement. What caught me was that in the many statements being made, the point being argued was that God looked forward to an ultimate sacrifice. We presently look back to Jesus the Messiah, but they previously looked forward to the Messiah. I'm not sure that I truly agree with this. It's nice; it's cliched; it's glib. Ultimately, what I have a problem with is not so much about the blood atonement. What I have a problem with is that God had established this covenant with them. If you walk in the ways that He has ordained in the Law, then you were righteous. That's it. There wasn't anything outside of that that was necessary. That was the covenant that God had set up.

So to argue the Jewish people about whether they need blood sacrifices in order to be blameless is pretty well missing the point. The question is not whether prayer suffices. Lets say it does! The question to ask is when God changed His covenant. As soon as you start talking about a change in the 'eternal covenant,' you are coming to a place where it gets very sticky very quickly. What exactly is the eternal covenant? Has that covenant ever been changed?

It says in Galatians 3:8 that Abraham believed in the Gospel. But Jesus hadn't died! Does this mean that Abraham believed that God would send a man named Jesus that would die upon a cross to take away his sin and pave the path for him to enter heaven? Certainly not. For Abraham to believe the Gospel is explained in the rest of the verse. He believed God when He said, "In you shall all nations be blessed." That was the Gospel. Where is it mentioned about blood, or the Messiah, or a cross, or repentance? The point isn't about any of that stuff. There is an eternal covenant that the animal sacrifices and the Levitical Law was only a shadow of.

The cross wasn't necessarily part of that eternal covenant either. What I'm trying to get at is that Jesus fulfilled all of the sacrifices. He didn't just fulfill the blood sacrifices, but even the meal offering, the offering of firstfruits, the peace offering (which is also a blood sacrifice), and even the sin and trespass offerings. Jesus is the fulfillment of them all, or the fulfillment of none. He is the eternal covenant because it is in Him, not just His blood (although it is extremely important), that we find all of these sacrifices and offerings fulfilled.

He is our High Priest. He is our offering. He is our sacrifice. He is our Passover Lamb. He is our Firstfruit (the feast). He is our Unleavened Bread - the Word of Truth. It was upon Pentecost (Feast of Weeks) that the Spirit was poured out. Guess who's Spirit that was! It is upon the Last Trump that Jesus will return (Feast of Trumpets). He is going to judge the nations as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25:32; Day of Atonement). He will then tabernacle with us for 1000 years (Feast of Tabernacles).

In fact, it is mentioned in Zechariah 14:16 that any nation that does not come up to the Feast of Tabernacles to celebrate when Jesus returns will have no rain. There is a judgment given to those nations that will not come up to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles.

Are you starting to see my point? Yes, blood is necessary. Yes, without the blood there is no remission of sins. But if we solely base Jesus on a blood atonement, then we lose the holism. We lose the extravagance. Why is it that we can pray and not need to offer sacrifices anymore? Why is it that God sees repentance as enough? Because Jesus has taken upon Himself the fulfillment of that eternal covenant. The covenant was not made with us that we have to do something. Even salvation itself is a work of the Spirit!

Back in Genesis 15, God establishes a covenant with Abram. Abram offers these sacrifices to God, he lays them in halves opposite one another to make a pathway in which you must walk through the sacrifices. The context is that if you wanted to covenant with someone, you would do this and one person would stand on one side, the other person would stand on the other side, and then you would both walk to the middle in order to make the pact. You are essentially making the statement, "Let it be unto me like these sacrifices if I break my covenant." But when you read Genesis 15, God walks through the sacrifices while Abram is just waking up. God walks through the whole thing. It is saying, "Abram, you offered these sacrifices, but it won't be about you. I will do this because I have established my covenant. Let it be unto me like these sacrifices if I don't fulfill my covenant with you. You aren't held responsible by any means."

God has taken upon Himself the eternal covenant. It isn't about us. It is about Him. It is about His faithfulness.

In Revelation 6:6, the claim is made that there will be famine in the last days. But an angel calls out, "Do not hurt the oil and the wine..." Why? These are representations of the Spirit and the Covenant. The wine is the wine of the Covenant, which is to say Christ. The oil is the anointing of the Spirit, which is to say the Holy Spirit. Many believe that the Holy Spirit will be taken out of the earth during the time of the Tribulation. This cannot be so. God says do not take these out. He desires that there be some who are saved. How can they be saved if there is no Spirit? How can they be saved if He removes the covenant?

It is eternal - stems from the foundations of the world to the consummation of the age. The covenant is not that Jesus must die upon a cross, but that God will provide the Lamb (Genesis 22:8). Though during the time before Jesus' death and resurrection the sacrifices were ordained of God for the remission of sins, now God has ordained a different covenant. You aren't considered righteous because of what you perform, but instead because of what you are. Because God has now written the Law upon your heart, and has transformed you in the very deeps of who you are (put truth in the inner parts - Psalm 51:6).

Why does David say in Psalm 51:16 that God does not desire sacrifice or burnt offering? The answer is found in the next verse: "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." The point is not that the sacrifices have been abolished, but instead that God wants to make our lives a sacrifice. He wants to do such a work in us that we are a priesthood. We are the sacrifice and the altar. Jesus alone is the one to fulfill that, but it is through Him that we are now made like Him. We are now transformed to being the sacrifice and altar - true priestliness.

In being the sacrifice and altar ourselves (Romans 12:1-2), we are no longer obligated to offer sacrifices. We have the blood poured out once and for all by our great High Priest. He is the ultimate fulfillment of all oblations and sacrifices. Now we go and do the same by pouring ourselves out like drink offerings to anyone and everyone that we know are in need. This is the eternal covenant. This is why we no longer need to offer sacrifices.

If we're witnessing to the Jews, and this comes up, how do we respond? How should we tell them that their prayer is not enough? How do we know that our prayer is enough? It is solely based upon the resurrection reality. Because we have been raised from the dead - something that you will know whether indeed it has or has not happened to you - we know that our prayers are answered. Resurrection does not mean that we are somehow now holier than thou, but in contrast would indicate a life of meekness.

Our righteous deeds are not something manifest to us. We live and move and have our being in simply doing good works. You don't need to ask me in order for me to do something for you. Typically, it seems like I end up buying groceries, sending money, encouraging and edifying, promoting and glorying in, and providing for any and every need that I am able without being asked. We know that so and so doesn't have much money, so we provide them food. We know that so and so is a single mom with 3 kids, so we buy school supplies, or pay the bills, or donate a gas card. We know so and so is entering into a new phase of life, so we encourage them however the Spirit leads.

Why do we need the blood of Messiah? We need the blood of Messiah because we need His Spirit poured out as a drink offering. We need the blood of Messiah because we need His Unleavened Bread - the Word of Truth - as a living reality within us (Psalm 51:6). We need the blood of Messiah because we need the incense, the sin offering, the burnt offering, the peace offering, the drink offering, the meal offering, and even the priestly functions that I haven't mentioned. We need the blood of Messiah because we need Him to fulfill all of the Law and Prophets. We cannot do this on our own, and so we look to Him to do it in us, through us, for us, and by us.

The blood is as important as every other aspect of the Law. For, "To sin in one aspect is to transgress the whole Law," James 2:10. We aren't under the Law in the sense that we are obligated to offer sacrifices. We are under a new Law. We are under the Law of Grace, which is in all aspects more difficult to follow than the written Law. God expects much more of us. These Jews that live more devoutly than we have even considered possible - it is in regard to them that Jesus says, "Unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the Pharisees, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Church Leadership

This has been a question asked by a couple people, "What does Church leadership look like?" I am so unfit to answer this question. Before we even talk about leadership, we need to ask what do we mean by "church?" There is a lot to unpack.

When you ask someone what church is, they will typically tell you it is the people. Then you ask them about their church and they will tell you about programs, events, buildings, sermons, worship music, and other things that really make you wonder how much they truly believe that the church is the people. Lets get this one clear: the church is not a building. You might meet in a building, you might meet in a living room, you might meet at a different place each week, but where you meet does not in any way, shape, or form tell us one iota about your "church." The church is first and foremost the people of God, coming together frequently in fellowship together.

In the midst of frequent fellowship, and in the midst of adversity of life lived together, we find ourselves in a strange place. Questions come from the devil asking whether these people even like you. He tempts and taunts and earns his title as "the accuser of the brethren." Nothing short of complete transparency and honesty will help to overcome that hurdle. When we can be united in a way that we are able to confess our faults one to another, and honestly tell each other when we have felt wronged or when the devil has been speaking his deceptions into our ear, it is precisely at that moment that we have stepped out from being an institution and into being an apostolic reality.

Our lives and characters are to be interwoven in a way that you cannot see me without seeing the other members of my community. You cannot tell where the one begins and the other ends. When you hear me speaking about a certain subject, I have not come to this knowledge independent, but instead in the midst of corporate wrestling. We all have a word, a song, a prophecy, a tongue, an interpretation of that tongue, a cry, a burden, a hope, a love, a message that cuts through all the crap, and most of all, we all have hearts yearning for a coming Kingdom. In that context, when we meet, we don't listen to the one man who has prayed, but instead we listen to what the Spirit is saying to the Churches through this man, and that woman, and these brothers, and those couples, and even the children. God speaks through each and every one, or He doesn't speak at all. Even in silence, we can be speaking the very word of God.

This brings me to another question often asked: How do you maintain order? We have set up "church" so that we have the worship, a little bit of announcements, and then the sermon, and then we all "fellowship" or leave. How is it that if there is no set schedule that we will have order?

It is not a cop out when I say that the Holy Spirit gives order. When we take off our control and allow Him to be in control, we find that the amount of order is amazing. Our time together can actually be more ordered and seamless when He is in control than when we are in control. The problem is this: often we let go of control and God is not in it. What happens when the Holy Spirit does not come in our midst to have authority and lead? Is God required to take the authority over the meeting?

When we come together, if there is no order, it is not because we haven't set up rules and bounds and guides, or that we lack leadership. The reason that there might be a lack of order is actually a spiritual issue. For those that have kept their hearts and are following the Spirit, there will be order. But if we have spent our Saturdays watching the football game, and have neglected prayer and the Bible, then it is no wonder that we need a system in order to keep from going berserk.

The quality of our life lived before God is no greater than the quality of the life we live together. When our lives together are constituted by seeing one another once or twice a week, we've already shown our cards. When we "fellowship" by playing games and watching movies together, we've already shown our lack. When we need some sort of entertainment to sit together for multiple days back to back, then our quality of life together is quite poor. How is it that the same eternal Spirit that is at work in me is at work in you, but we can't even find something to talk about? How is it that so often what we talk about and discuss has no eternal weight to it? How is it that we are far more intrigued with the ball game than we are with what it means to have a corporate character of holiness?

I say these things to our shame.

And then we want to talk about how we need church leadership. The leadership is often times equally as wanting in character and life as the person in the pew. The only difference is that you have a man or woman that is now a toddler in the faith that is able to lead the infants. This is not true of every congregation, but it is certainly true for the majority. Church leadership is born out of the intensity of life lived together. When we have wrestled with these first and foundational issues of how to even come together frequently, then we can start discussing leadership.

Leadership is never something that we promote because of a title, education, or credential. It is based on one thing, and one thing only: the word of God. When the credentials are met according to the Bible, and when that word comes from heaven to say, "Separate unto me..." then we shall know who the leaders are. God appoints the elders and deacons. He appoints the pastors and teachers. If it weren't for the assured times when discipline is necessary, you would not even know who the elder is and who the layman is. They are one together.

Submission to authority is thus a submission to the Holy Spirit. Those that are to be great among us are to be our servants. Just as Jesus did not come to be served, but instead to serve, so we are to serve one another. Those that God has appointed as elders are in actuality very rarely the ones that "stand a head and shoulder above all others" (reference to King Saul). Typically God chooses the servant and the least of all. That does not mean the least educated or least knowledgable, but the one that does not identify himself or herself as anything worthy of such a title. The one that does not desire to be sent out and speak to the world as a prophet is the one chosen as a prophet. Why? Because God knows that that man or woman will not speak their words, but will instead remain humble and speak only the words God has given. Likewise, the servant, the one that is truly humble, will not seek to somehow lord over anyone else when they are given authority, but will instead have the authority because of the anointing of the Spirit. They will not govern according to the way that the world governs, but instead have a different disposition: one that asks how Jesus leads; one that asks what it means to rule and reign in the Kingdom of God.

In this manner, God has made it that those who lead are not always those that are most qualified. It is a humbling to those that are more qualified to then submit to the authority. The authority, by the way, is never a man with a title - even one given of God - but instead a submission to the Holy Spirit. If the youngest and newest convert speaks a word that is cogent and drips with anointing, no matter how much we desire to scoff and say we're the elder or we know more, we bend the knee and submit to that word or rebuke that has come from even the babe in Christ.

The oldest is not too far from being rebuked by the youngest. All are able to speak into one another's lives, because what is more important than leadership is apostolic character. Our greatest pursuit is that we do not offend the Holy Spirit of God, which is to say that we we live solely for the glory of God. Anything less than the glory of God is apostasy, and we will not settle. Our leaders are to be those that have discernment to know when a word is truly coming from God and when it is coming from the flesh. These are men that might not know everything as far as knowledge goes, but they do know God. They do know His presence. They do know His power. They do know His Spirit.

Because the leadership has cherished that Spirit that is within them, they are able to see the false a mile away. Any kind of false humility, false speaking, false prophecy, false hope, or false spirit is utterly opposed. And know that it is never the person that is attacked, but the spirit of deception. We speak the truth in love to one another. That doesn't mean that we are somehow timid or wimpy. We can speak boldly and confidently without assailing.

In the context of community, in the midst of adversity of life together, we find an unusual calling. How can we even be to each other what we ought when our privacy is taken away? How can we show each other love when all of the luxuries that we've enjoyed up to now are no longer legitimate? It takes a certain kind of stamina and love for the truth to endure this. When we are willing to submit to that love of truth over our personal ambition, then we have come to a place where maybe we can start asking questions about church leadership. Out of that Body that is consecrated to the Lord, and has been sanctified through the outworking of His Spirit in the midst of that Church, God will speak, "Separate unto me." There will be no question of who the elders or pastors or teachers or deacons or leadership are. It will be blatantly obvious if we are indeed in the Spirit.

I hope that this answers some of those questions about leadership, authority, and submission to that leadership and/or authority.

Persecution - the Heart of Davidic Worship

            When we desire to understand the heart of David’s worship, there is no better place to turn than to the Psalms. In Psalm 56 and 57 (to only examine two), we find them both starting with persecution. The one is persecution from the Philistines, and the other is persecution from Saul. In this we have symbols of persecution from the world and persecution from the backslidden Church. I find it interesting that even with both of these two very different oppressors, the first few verses in both the Psalms reference David being “trampled.”

            “Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me; fighting all day long he oppresses me (Psalm 56:1). He will send from heaven and save me; He reproaches him who tramples upon me (Psalm 57:3).” This is the unfortunate fate of a “David.” David symbolizes the man of faith – which is ironically the one that always gets trampled upon by men of the world, whether religious or otherwise. Though in both Psalms David is being trampled, his cry is to God and God alone. He does not raise his voice against the Philistines or against Saul.

            In Psalm 56, we find that verses four and eleven repeat one another. In verse 11 we read: In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? In another translation it uses the word “flesh” instead of man. What is the “flesh” and who is the “me” being spoken of? We have already seen from verse one that David is being trampled upon. So obviously flesh is doing something to him. Not to mention, if David is taken, there is a lot of torture that man can do to another man. Yet David insists that man can do nothing to me.

            The “me” must mean something more than the physical body that can indeed be harmed by men.  However, what he is in God, the essential David, cannot be harmed. In this we have the basis for why we shall not fear. This is the basis for worship. Who we are in God cannot be taken from us. We are something very distinct and different from our bodies. Though we are contained within our physical bodies, the reality of who we are is not destroyed with our body. This is why in the midst of persecution we can find solace in God.

            In all of the saints of old, whether Old Testament or New Testament, we read that the glory of God is revealed in both their lives and their deaths. Martyrdom is not merely in death, but a lifestyle. When we can live as though we have already died, then we are truly living. Our lives are not our own. God is somehow in control and is bigger than our lives. Everything we do is to the glory of God. Nothing is for self.

            In this, our death is taken in a way to say, “There is something more important than self-preservation.” In order to die at the hands of persecutors and make that kind of statement through your death does not come at the end of your life. You aren’t going to somehow find the gusto to endure pain. This kind of manifestation is displayed through your life – your death is only the final enactment. Any persecution that is faced, whether to the death or we live through it, will display full well the wisdom by which we truly are governed.

            King Zedekiah was promised his life if he surrendered to Babylon. There was a problem. He feared men more than God. Because he feared what the people of Israel would say, he was brutally tortured and ultimately killed. His death was not valiant. Isaiah, tradition says, was cut in half while hanging upside down. While they hacked him asunder, he was still prophesying. Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego took “death” (fiery furnace) without wavering. They claimed, “Even if God does not deliver us, oh king, we still will not bow down to your stupid antichrist statue!”

            When we view Acts 16, we see the story of Paul and Silas. These two men are beaten and thrown in prison unjustly. At midnight, they start singing songs of praise to God. In the midst of their worship, the prison doors swing wide open. What is it about the worship of Paul and Silas that would cause for such a phenomena? When you can give testimony of God like that to the world in the midst of adversity and trials, then you have given the ultimate witness of God that glorifies God and can be used as a witness to save the nations.

            When our worship comes from a heart that knows God’s character and that He would not allow anything to befall us if it did not glorify Him, we have stepped out of the realm of music as worship and into the realm of Davidic worship. Even in the midst of prison and death, Paul and Silas rejoiced in the God who saved them. Death could not keep them from Him. Why fear? If we die, we go to see the Lord. If we are tortured, then we should count it privilege to be found as worthy vessels to take the same torment that Christ received. Isn’t this why Peter and John rejoiced after being beaten by the Sanhedrin in Acts 5:40-42?

            Probably the greatest travesty of our age is the use of manipulation during worship to rile up the emotions and senses during the music time. True worship should be a spontaneous expression of a reality that has been obtained corporately, by a people who have been long enough and intensely enough together to obtain it. Choruses should be the expression of joy, not its substitute. Music can be a powerful thing, but when music becomes a means to feeling, we have forsaken the holy worship in Spirit and truth.

            There is a wickedness beyond human capacity, which is of the principalities and powers of the air. If we do not recognize (and wrestle) them now, then we will not recognize them during the time of persecution. We will assume that mankind is purely corrupted, and in that we will possibly lose heart. But what do we lose heart in? It is ultimately that we lose faith in God, and we therefore lose our own humanity as well.

            Our lifestyle must be born out of the real belief in a soon coming Tribulation and return of the Lord. With this, our view is properly centered to not fret with the things of this life, and to endure patiently until the end when we shall receive reward. My struggles in daily life are things to rejoice in. I know that the tougher the struggle the greater the work of sanctification it will bring. I rejoice that in pain there is comfort, in struggle there is ability to overcome, in persecution there is endurance, and in torture there is a crown.

The oil of the virgins

In our charismatic Christian "concerts" that we call worship, I believe that this story in Matthew 25 is paramount. I don't mean to call names, nor do I mean to point fingers, but I must admit that I see this more in the Pentecostal and charismatic scene than anywhere else. During Sunday services, we play music for the worship time. This isn't wrong in any way. What is wrong, however is that we will rev up our amplifiers and crank up the bass in our sound systems to try and make an atmosphere that is separate from the anointing and presence of God. In our loudness, we hype up the audience. Even in the preaching, by saying certain words or phrases, such as, "I can really feel the Holy Ghost tonight," we deceive those listening who are either ignorant, or naive enough to believe that all words spoken are of truth. It is obvious that by attending a few meetings and revivals, any good actor could become an evangelist and make millions.

In Matthew 25, starting in verse 1, these 10 virgins have oil in their lamps. 5 of them have enough oil to last until midnight, and the others have an abundance. The 5 without ask the 5 with to share their oil. They are denied, and so the 5 without oil must go buy more. While they are gone, Jesus returns. The 5 return and see a door. The other 5 had already gone through this door, and so the remaining 5 knock and ask to be let in. They are told, "Depart from me, I never knew you." And, of course, this is our Lord Christ Jesus answering.

I believe the oil is the anointing of God to be able to minister with His Holy Spirit, and the power that comes from it. This oil is obtained from anything that requires a cross to bear, such as prayer, accepting rejection from those you speak to, denying yourself pleasure of this world, etc. Essentially, its a suffering that is born in obedience to the Lord. Now, the fact that Jesus said, "I never knew you," begs the question of what kind of oil did the 5 without have? Was it some kind of synthetic, "surrealist" oil? Or, and this is my belief, maybe they had gotten the oil in prayer and petitions that were only for their own need.

The "residue," or abundance, of oil would be those prayers that go beyond our need and to the needs of God. They would be the offerings to not ask God to sacrifice of Himself for our behalf, but for us to offer ourselves as sacrifices on God's behalf. A perfect display of this is to listen to testimonies. Most of the time, it is a testimony of how God has done something for them, and they not only expect, but require God to keep doing things for them. This is self-centered, whereas we should be God-centered. The true testimony is not of what God has done, so that we almost say that He is the giver and never asks of anything. It is true, and I've been a recipient of God's giving, but when our whole Christian viewpoint is upon what God not only has done, but will continue to do for "me," it is a surreal authenticity. It is a copy of the real, but is in the end a mirage.

What is sad is that even when believers pray for revival, what they really mean is a hype, or a shot in the arm that would benefit and bless them. They are willing, and desperately hungry enough, to allow anything that seems "real enough" to be brought before them so they may obtain this blessing. If people are falling down, if there are shouts of tongues, if there are testimonies of healing and miracles, then we equate that with God, when we can read in Matthew 7 that that might not be the case. "Many will say to me in that day, 'Have I not prophesied in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and done many wondrous works in your name?' And my response will be, 'Depart from me, I never knew you.'" Now, that is not to discredit healing or miracles, but to say that we need to use a bit of discernment. If the person praying over you is embedded in carnality, that which he/she has can, and will, be imparted unto you. What kind of shows were they watching the night before the "revival?" What kind of music do they listen to? What kind of character do they emit when outside of the church arena? If it is not authentic Christianity, according to the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5, don't let them touch you.

I must admit, there is a lot more to be said, but I have nothing else to write. I hope that this is something you can ponder over and enjoy digesting while celebrating the Christmas and New Years.